First and foremost, it was important for you to send me the 1st draft in November (kindly see the screenshots), as I have requested, in order to avoid the provision of a draft that might have several inefficiencies as the one that you finally prepared.
It looks like I never received this first draft and you proceeded on the preparation of the prefinal draft without the approval of the first draft (kindly see the screenshots).
More precisely:
For further information kindly read the Business Management for the IB Diploma, Peter Stimpson and Alex Smith, pages 569-571.
This sample was also sent to the whole class in November 2020 (kindly see the screenshots).
The IA does not have any footnotes, thus I cannot proceed with any corrections as I cannot identify the source that you found the information.
The IA has to be based only on supporting documents that you collected through secondary research and not on primary data.
The supporting documents (from one supporting document up to 5) have to be attached on your commentary
You have to highlight the parts that you used from the supporting documents.
If your IA is based on primary sources then you have to provide a transcript of the interviews conducted.
As your IA lacks: Criteria 4 (supporting documents); Criteria C (conclusion); Criteria E (evaluation) and Criteria F (structure) (which count 13 out of 24 marks according to the IBO standard level marking criteria), I would suggest you should revise the notes and instructions that I have provided to you, the sample that I have send to you and write again the IA using the IBO format.
In case you have lost the notes given, the sample sent or the instructions provided and wish to appoint a new meeting so as for me to explain what you should prepared, do not hesitate contacting me.
Your next deadline for the preparation of a correct FIRST DRAFT of your IA is due on the 25th of January 2021.
